HUSBANDS, LOVE YOUR WIVES AND DO NOT BE HARSH
Husbands, loveG25 your wives and do not be harshG4087 with them.
Colossians 3:19 (BSB)
Husbands, love your wives [with an affectionate, sympathetic, selfless love that always seeks the best for them] and do not be embittered or resentful toward them [because of the responsibilities of marriage].
Colossians 3:19 (AMP)
G4087 πικραίνω pikraínō – figuratively of emotions: to embitter, pass. to be or become bitter, i.e., to be harsh, angry.
The Complete Word Study Dictionary, New Testament, Spiros Zodhiates, ed.
In the similar passage in Ephesians 5, we focused on the type of love a husband is supposed to have for his wife: an unconditional, self-sacrificing, edifying choice of love. Here Paul gives that same message to the husbands in Colossae but with the added admonition, “do not be harsh with them” or in the Amplified Version, “do not be embittered or resentful toward them [because of the responsibilities of marriage].” Those negative emotions can be the beginning of abuse in a relationship whether they are harbored by the husband or the wife—abuse can go either way. We have often heard people bristle at Paul’s admonition to wives in Ephesians to “submit to your husbands as to the Lord,” (Ephesians 5:22); but they ignore that the submission is mutual: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). They also do not read Colossians 3:19 which would indicate that husbands are not to force compliance or be harsh in dealing with their wives, nor are they to become bitter when the requirements of marriage are difficult. The submission the Lord requires is a mutual willingness to consider the other person above yourself. Here the focus is on husbands, but neither spouse can follow the instructions regarding submission to each other if they are not first submitted to following the Lord Jesus. The Holy Spirit enables us to obey the Lord’s commands and to love the way He loves us.
Those who are married would do well to observe what the Lord inspired the Apostle Paul to write to the Ephesians and Colossians. However, all of us need to treat each other with this same kind of respect. Ask the Lord to reign over your home and help you to be kind, considerate, and loving toward family members (or roommates) in order to establish the harmonious home that will be a positive witness to all who enter. As one of Susan’s nurses said, “In your home is peace.”
Father, may our homes be consistently a refuge and a place of peace for our families and all who visit us. May we submit to one another in love and most of all submit to You as our Lord, first Love, and ultimate leader in our homes.