EPHESIANS 6:1-9
HONOR THE AUDIENCE OF ONE THROUGH RIGHT RELATIONSHIPS
SUSIE: The first six verses of Ephesians chapter six still relate back to Ephesians 5:21 and believers’ willing submission to one another in Christ. The first four verses continue with submission in the home, and verses five through eight deal with slaves or in most of our cases the employee to employer relationship.
Ephesians 6:1(BSB) Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord [that is, accept their guidance and discipline as His representatives], for this is right [for obedience teaches wisdom and self-discipline].
Colossians 6:1 (AMP)
Colossians 3:20 (BSB) Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord.
Colossians 3:20 (BSB)
SUSIE: Since this letter is addressed to the church at Ephesus, the assumption is that the parents are Christians, and therefore, “in the Lord.” However, it is God’s design that children be under the authority of the parent unless obedience to parents conflicts with obedience to God. Paul’s reason for this obedience is “this is right.” His next sentence relates obedience to the fifth commandment found in Exodus 20.
Ephesians 6 is a key passage. Verse 1 speaks to children: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord.” That is, obedience to one’s parents is the God-given duty of every child. As long as the parents’ commands do not violate God’s Word, the child should obey. Verse 4 speaks to fathers: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” It is the duty of fathers to train their children in a godly way and to instruct them in the Lord’s Word. In so doing parents set their children up for the best chance for a long and prosperous life in this world (verse 3)—and treasures in heaven, too.
https://www.gotquestions.org/disobedient-children.html
Ephesians 6:2-3 “Honor your father and mother” (which is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on the earth.”
Honor your father and mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.
Exodus 20:12 (BSB)
SUSIE: Obedience is an action whereas honoring is an attitude.
SUSAN: Honoring one’s parents comes from respect and gratitude for their protection, nurturing, teaching, and discipline.
SUSIE: Honoring one’s parents extends into adulthood. Living a godly life honors the Christian parents by not bringing shame to the family name. One honors their parents by remaining a part of their lives and making sure they are cared for in their golden years.
But if a widow has children or grandchildren, they must first learn to show godliness to their own family and repay their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.
1 Timothy 5:4 (BSB)
SUSIE: Jesus denounced the Pharisees for finding a loophole to get out of taking care of parents:
For Moses said: Honor your father and your mother; and Whoever speaks evil of father or mother must be put to death. But you say, ‘If anyone tells his father or mother: Whatever benefit you might have received from me is corban’” (that is, an offering devoted to God), “you no longer let him do anything for his father or mother.
Mark 7:10-12 (CSB)
SUSIE: We need to point out, though, that honoring one’s parents after reaching adulthood does NOT involve remaining in a mentally, emotionally, or physically abusive relationship with them. Following is an excerpt from a great article on honoring abusive parents:
One thing forgiveness and honor are not, though, is a permanent submission to parental authority. The Bible commands honor but not remaining a prisoner in a dysfunctional family. Families with a destructive cycle of sin are dangerous, and children who break free need to find safety in the family of God—which is every Christian’s true family (Matthew 10:35–38). Dysfunctional families are fraught with codependence, addiction, violence, and an absence of safe boundaries. These traits will be like a millstone around the neck, dragging the child toward the same sinful patterns. Removing oneself from an abusive situation is much like overcoming addiction; when a person desires sobriety, he cannot associate with people who abuse drugs (Proverbs 13:20).
https://www.gotquestions.org/honor-abusive-parent.html (entire article)
Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath; instead, bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Paul tells fathers, “do not provoke your children” (Eph. 6:4). The term means “to arouse with wrath.” A paraphrase would be, “Don’t make it difficult for children to obey.” How fathers exercise their role as fathers makes all the difference. Elsewhere, Paul adds a consequence to provocation, “lest they become discouraged” (Col. 3:21). Paul also calls for character formation for our children—spiritual, intellectual, emotional, and physical nourishment—to bring them up (Eph. 6:4) to lead healthy lives before God. This is accomplished through “training”; elsewhere, the word is used for chastisement (Prov. 19:18; 22:15; 29:15, 17). Discipline should always be done in love, not anger, and in the spirit of prayer. The punishment should also fit the offense. If we discipline our children harshly or take out our frustrations on them, we may actually scar them, physically and emotionally. Discipline should be redemptive in nature and, therefore, loving. Character formation is also accomplished through direction or admonition. The term means “to put in mind.” Hence, to admonish is to train by the use of words, and words must come from the Lord (Deut. 6:6, 7).
Vines Expository Bible Notes
SUSAN: Parents should not bring their children to the point of outrageous, uncontrollable, violent displays of anger.
SUSIE: Fathers in the time and place Paul addressed could be strict to the point of oppression, unreasonably demanding. The rules and consequences set by parents should be reasonable, fair, and for the best interest of the child and the rest of the family. The King James Version says to bring them up in the “fear and admonition” of the Lord. We no longer use the word “admonition,” but it makes sense in the context.
ADMONI’TION, noun Gentle reproof; counseling against a fault; instruction in duties; caution; direction. Titus 3:10. 1 Corinthians 10:11.
Webster’s 1828 American Dictionary of the English Language
SUSIE: Loving discipline corrects a child gently but firmly. The Lord extended His grace toward us by dying for us on the cross even when we were His enemies. We should look for opportunities to extend grace to our children. Correction and discipline are necessary to guide a child toward a relationship with the Lord but should be done in love.
SUSAN: When disciplining a child, it benefits the parents and the child to be consistent as close to 100% of the time as possible. The child must know and understand the rules and expectations before they are expected to obey them.
SUSIE: It is important for both parents to be in agreement and present a united front with their children.
SUSAN: Children will take advantage of disagreements between Mom and Dad to divide and conquer!
SUSIE: Raising children is a great responsibility and should be a matter of much prayer.
SUSAN: If you are consulting the One who made your children, He will give you strategies to understand your children and live out this great adventure called parenting.
Ephesians 6:5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear and sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.
Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything, not only to please them while they are watching, but with sincerity of heart and fear of the Lord.
Colossians 3:22 (BSB)
All who are under the yoke of slavery should regard their masters as fully worthy of honor, so that God’s name and our teaching will not be discredited.
1 Timothy 6:1 (BSB)
Slaves are to submit to their own masters in everything, to be well-pleasing, not argumentative,
Titus 2:9 (BSB)
SUSIE: Paul was writing to believers, some of whom may have been indentured to non-believers.
SUSAN: The Christian should work with excellence because his/her overseer/boss is merely human, but the One we truly answer to is Christ. Are we doing our work in such a way that it would bring Christ pleasure, glory, honor, and joy? Joy as a proud parent when their child does a job well.
SUSIE: Peter admonished his readers to be obedient servants as well.
Household slaves, submit with all fear to your masters, not only to the good and gentle but also to the cruel. For it brings favor if, mindful of God’s will, someone endures grief from suffering unjustly.
1 Peter 2:18-19 (HCSB)
SUSIE: It would be easy to submit to a kind master (or in our case, boss), but having to submit to a cruel, unscrupulous, or crooked one would be very hard! Why should these slaves/servants have to do that?
One’s Christianity does not give him the right to rebel against his superior in the social structure no matter how unfair or harsh he may be.
The MacArthur Bible Commentary
SUSIE: These days there are usually proper channels to go through if one has a valid complaint about a supervisor. We need to do that without violence, disrespect, or causing a scene. When we respect authority, it is a positive witness to other workers.
SUSAN: These slaves/workers are really submitting not to the unscrupulous man or woman over them but to their ultimate Master, God, to bring Him glory . . .
SUSIE: . . . through their excellent behavior and service. There are places in the world where slavery or indentured service still exist, and this would apply literally to believers living in those circumstances. However, even as free workers, we should respect authority, do our best on the job, and maintain a positive witness that honors the Lord. If we feel it impossible to remain in a situation and have explored proper channels to improve it to no avail, we do have the right to remove ourselves from this employment. As much as is humanly possible, this needs to be done with respect toward authority.
If it is possible on your part, live at peace with everyone. Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but leave room for God’s wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, says the Lord.”
Romans 12:18-19 (BSB)
SUSAN: When in a difficult work situation, it is important to seek the Lord before moving on. He may have a purpose for you to fulfill even in the pain that you are experiencing. Pray until you feel a freedom and peace about leaving a job for a new adventure.
Ephesians 6:6-7 And do this not only to please them while they are watching, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve with good will, as to the Lord and not to men,
SUSIE: We are to do our best in the workplace, not just when the supervisor is watching, but at all times. Our true Boss/Master is watching at all times.
SUSAN: The motivation for the Christian proceeds from the heart in obedience to the Lord rather than for earthly rewards.
Whatever you do, work at it with your whole being, for the Lord and not for men,
Colossians 3:23 (BSB)
SUSIE: We should not do a half-way job but put our hearts into our work, doing superior work as we would for Jesus. This will be a positive witness to our earthly bosses and co-workers.
Ephesians 6:8 . . . because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free.
SUSAN: All good gifts, all rewards, are ultimately from the Lord, whether temporal or eternal. We should just do our best because it is the right thing to do, the godly thing to do.
SUSIE: However, we can be assured that even if we are never praised by our earthly employers for our excellent work, God sees all and will reward us either here and now or when we are called home to Him.
Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6:19-21 (NIV)
SUSAN: If we understand that Jesus is the ultimate prize, the ultimate reward or “portion” as the Jews would say, then our treasure is with Him in Heaven. Jesus has gone to prepare a place where all believers will reside together in unity forever, being one as Jesus and the Father are one (John 17).
Ephesians 6:9 And masters, do the same for your slaves. Give up your use of threats, because you know that He who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with Him.
SUSIE: Of course, Christians who owned slaves were commanded to treat them fairly and with respect as brothers or sisters in the Lord. Paul reminded them that it matters not to God whether a man is the master or the slave because He is the Master over all.
Masters, supply your slaves with what is right and fair, since you know that you too have a Master in heaven.
Colossians 4:1 (HCSB)
PONDER THIS: All our earthly relationships should be based on submitting first to the Lord Jesus and then one to another. As we learned in Philippians 2, we should put others’ needs ahead of our own, serving one another in love. In our “me-first” society, this behavior will stand out. It will seem foreign to many people, but then it is…it is other-worldly, heavenly minded.
ASSIGNMENT: In the past, we have asked you to ask, “What would Jesus do,” or “What would Jesus have me to do?” In the context of this lesson, ask yourself, “If Jesus were my supervisor, what attitude would I have toward my work? How diligently would I apply myself to my daily tasks?” If you make any changes in your work habits or attitudes (even if your work is homemaking) when you remember Jesus is ultimately your Boss, write down the effects on yourself and others as a result of these changes. If you ARE the boss, ask yourself how Jesus would have you treat your employees. Journal the results of any changes you make as the supervisor in your workplace.