EPHESIANS 5:21-33
SUBMISSION – FIRST TO THE LORD, THEN TO ONE ANOTHER
SUSIE: We often quote from the Reformation Study Bible, MacArthur Study Bible, various commentaries, etc. We find many of these helps at www.biblegateway.com and highly recommend that you check it out! There is much available for free, or for a small amount per month, you can access even more. You can compare a verse in many different versions as well. Two other great resources are www.biblehub.com and www.blueletterbible.com.
Ephesians 5:21 SubmitG5293 to one another out of reverenceG5401 for Christ.
“5:21 This transitional verse is last in a series of expressions explaining the effects of being filled with the Spirit (vv. 19–21note). Regardless of their social rank, all Christians should pattern their social behavior on the humility and kindness of Christ (4:32–5:2; cf. Luke 22:24–27; John 13:14–16). This submission “to one another” is the basis for the forms of authority in specific relationships discussed 5:22-6:9.”
Reformation Study Bible
G5293 – Submit – hupŏtassō – to subordinate; reflex. to obey: – be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit self unto.
Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible
G5293 – (II) Mid. Hupotáassomai, to subject oneself, place oneself in submission. In the relation of a wife to her husband: Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1,5; Titus 2:5. In these verses the duty of the wife to submit herself to her own husband is clearly enunciated (Gal. 3:28; 1 Peter 3:7). Although there is an ontological spiritual equality between men and women, there remain physical, positional and functional differences. There are designated functions for a husband and a wife which man cannot change because God has ordained them. Any endeavor to effect change will bring frustration, vanity, and emptiness. . . God has made one woman to become a wife to one man, and she is so constituted by God Himself. But this is not due to her being inferior to her husband, for they are both equal before God. It is a willing personal subjection demonstrated in Eph. 5:21, “submitting yourselves [hupotassómenoi] one to another in the fear of God.” The word translated “one to another” is alleloi (G24), in the pl. dat. Indicating equality of all concerned. . .
The Complete Word Study Dictionary, Spiros Zodhiates, ed.
G5401 – Reverence – phŏbŏs – (to be put in fear); alarm or fright: be afraid, + exceedingly, fear, terror.
Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible
SUSAN: Submitting is on the order of a soldier submitting to his superior officer, not because one is smarter or better than the other but because that is the established line of authority, the established protocol.
SUSIE: We submit to one another, subordinate our desires to those of a brother or sister in Christ, out of reverence for Christ as the head of the body. Our fear of the Lord as supreme authority is tempered by His grace and love for us.
SUSAN: Fear or reverence is a holy awe for Jesus. The Lord’s wisdom is superior to my limited understanding. We submit to one another to honor the Lord and out of respect for His supremacy.
SUSIE: The following verses include specific instructions to husbands and wives but are also a picture of our relationship with Jesus as His bride. We will highlight words pertaining to wives being in submission to their husbands in fuchsia and verses about the husbands’ responsibility to love their wives in aqua. By highlighting, we noticed that the wives are told three times to submit/respect their husbands, while the husbands are told four times to love their wives and once to cleave or hold fast to their wives. We must remember that the marriage relationship between believers is based on the mutual submission to each other and mutual respect for each other because of our shared love of Christ.
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submitG5293 to your husbands as to the Lord.
G5293 hypotássō, hoop-ot-as’-so; from G5259 and G5021; to subordinate; reflexively, to obey:—be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit self unto.
Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible
SUSAN: The covenant nuclear family begins with God, the husband, and the wife. The siblings and the parents of the couple become each other’s family. Children are not the beginning of the family. They are an addition to what God has joined together as a divine representation of Christ to his bride, the church. The husband is to provide, protect, to nurture and to cause the wife to flourish in the identity and giftings, abilities and divine purposes God has placed within her.
SUSIE: Note: this command is to submit to her own husband only. Women are in no way inferior to men in God’s economy. The submission here is as above, the submission in military order. God has ordained that the husband be the leader in the home, so the wife willingly places herself under him in rank. This does not mean that she has no voice because, as we will see, her husband earns this respect by his sacrificial love for her as an example of how Jesus loves His bride, the church.
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior.
5:23 The reason for the wife’s submission is that her husband is her head. He occupies the same relation to her that Christ occupies to the church. Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. (The word Savior here can have the meaning of Preserver, as it has in 1 Tim. 4:10 JND). So the husband is head of the wife, and he is her preserver as well. As head he loves, leads, and guides; as preserver he provides, protects, and cares for her.
Believer’s Bible Commentary
5:23 husband is head . . . Christ is head. The Spirit-filled wife recognizes that her husband’s role in giving leadership is not only God-ordained, but is a reflection of Christ’s own loving, authoritative headship of the church. See notes on 1 Cor. 11:3; cf. 1:22, 23; 4:15; Col. 1:18; Titus 2:4, 5. Savior. As the Lord delivered His church from the dangers of sin, death, and hell, so the husband provides for, protects, preserves, and loves his wife, leading her to blessing as she submits. Cf. Titus 1:4; 2:13; 3:6.
NKJV MacArthur Study Bible, 2nd Edition
SUSIE: Christ leads the church with grace and love. It is His role as Savior that the husband must strive to imitate.
SUSAN: If both husband and wife are submitted to the Lord and seeking to grow in His grace, the relationship will be strong.
SUSIE: I like the ladder illustration. If a husband is on one side of a ladder, and his wife is on the other; they will be getting closer together as long as they are both climbing. If one stands still and the other continues to climb, they become farther apart. If both people are “climbing” toward the Lord, they will grow ever closer; but if one stops, they grow farther apart. All of this instruction about husbands and wives presupposes that they are both submitted to the Lord Jesus. This is one reason it is imperative that people not be “unequally yoked” in marriage or any partnership. If one is a believer, and the other is not, they cannot possibly be growing closer together as the Lord intended.
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
2 Corinthians 6:14 (ESV)
Ephesians 5:24-25 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her
SUSAN: If the husband is loving the wife in the self-sacrificing, edifying manner exemplified by Jesus, she will have no problem submitting to him and respecting him.
SUSIE: Since the husband is the leader in this process, much of the responsibility rests upon him—a heavy load if he is trying to maintain this kind of love in his own strength. He must be looking to his Head, the Lord Jesus for the power to love sacrificially.
SUSAN: If the husband is loving, nurturing, and exhorting the wife, she will have no problem willingly submitting to his leadership. If he is lording it over her as other cultures do, it will cause her to head toward a rebellious end. When the wife defers to the husband if they cannot come to agreement in decision making, and he is in error, she is protected because she submitted to him and he has been tasked by the Lord with leadership responsibilities.
SUSIE: The husband and wife work together to lead their home, but he bears the most responsibility and needs to be sure he is rooted and grounded in the Word and submitted fully to the Lord. A wise wife will pray for her husband along those lines.
SUSAN: A wise man will include his wife in all matters and listen to her counsel, weighing it against the Word.
SUSIE: A woman’s subjection to her husband, likewise, does not supersede her submission to the Lord Jesus. Any time she is asked to choose between following her husband or obeying Jesus, she must follow the Lord.
Ephesians 5:26-27 . . . to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a glorious church, without stain or wrinkle or any such blemish, but holy and blameless.
SUSIE: The Lord’s leadership of His bride, the church, is designed to strengthen, purify, and glorify her. His commands and instructions in the Bible are always for our good and to sanctify us meaning to make us more and more like Jesus.
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;
Romans 8:28-29 (NASB)
Ephesians 5:28-29 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Indeed, no one ever hated his own body, but he nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.
SUSAN: The husband should nurture and treasure his wife as a priceless, precious jewel, a true gift from God.
SUSIE: He should make every effort to build her up and help her to be everything the Lord has called her to be. Since the two become one flesh, the wife is an extension of her husband. He should care for her as he does for himself.
SUSAN: He should encourage her to excel in her God given purposes. The husband should be leading out in seeking to grow in the knowledge of the Bible. He should be encouraging his wife in her walk with the Lord, and they should be praying together. He should edify, exhort, and console his wife. He should be her biggest cheering section, like a life coach in her ear. There is a difference between being “in love” with yourself and loving yourself. The husband must have holy esteem for his own person in order to love the wife as himself.
Ephesians 5:30-31 For we are members of His body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be unitedG4347 to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.
G4347 προσκολλάω proskolláō, pros-kol-lah’-o; from G4314 and G2853; to glue to, i.e. (figuratively) to adhere:—cleave, join (self).
Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible
SUSIE: We are each members of the body of Christ and as such are engulfed in His love. When the husband and wife truly understand the intimacy of becoming one flesh, they realize they are each a part of the other. They should “cleave,” cling to one another and not seek that type of intimacy—sexual, emotional, or spiritual—from anyone else.
SUSAN: The husband should not let his eyes wildly gaze upon another but fix his eyes on his own wife. This is the covenant the man made with God and his wife on their wedding day. The ideal bird is not the peacock but the eagle who brings the wife into soaring heights. Eagles mate for life. The respect or reverence the wife has for the husband is like our “fear” of the Lord. We can give this reverence because he is loving us without condition, a love like we have never experienced before or can never experience with another.
SUSIE: A husband needs to love His wife as the Lord loves the church . . .
SUSAN: . . . love to the point of overwhelming her and catching her by surprise.
SUSIE: We must also remind the wife that she made the same vow to her husband and to the Lord to be faithful to her husband. She should not seek intimacy with another man. By intimacy, I do not mean sexual intercourse alone. The husband and wife should find their affirmation emotionally as well as physically in their spouse and Jesus only.
Ephesians 5:32 This mystery is profound, but I am speaking about Christ and the church.
SUSIE: Jesus completely cares for His bride, encouraging, nourishing, and strengthening the body of believers because we are in Him and He is in us. He prayed for us that we would be one as He and the Father are one (John 17), and I believe this is especially crucial in the marriage relationship which should be a picture of Jesus’ love for the church. Our homes are designed to be a witness to a world deeply in need of the Savior’s love and light.
I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.
John 17:20-21 (ESV)
Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respectG5399 her husband.
G5399 φοβέω phobéō, fob-eh’-o; from G5401; to frighten, i.e. (passively) to be alarmed; by analogy, to be in awe of, i.e. revere:—be (+ sore) afraid, fear (exceedingly), reverence.
Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible
5:33 The final word in this section is a practical one. Whether or not Paul’s readers have fully understood his allusions to the “profound mystery” (v.32), they should at least get hold of the essential instructions he has been endeavoring to convey. Paul addresses every husband individually (lit., “you each, one by one”). Each one is to go on loving his wife as his very self (vv.25, 28-29). For her part, the wife is to give her husband the respect that is due him in the Lord (v.22)—a respect that is conditioned by and expressive of reverence for Christ. It also assumes that the husband will so love his wife as to be worthy of such deference.
Expositor’s Bible Commentary (Abridged Edition): New Testament
SUSAN: In the cultural climate of the early church, it was expected that the woman would reverence her husband. The new teaching here is that the husband should love his wife sacrificially. The wife is then the willingly submissive partner to her husband.
SUSIE: As the husband submits to the Lord’s leadership and purposely subordinates his own needs to those of his wife, she will easily return his love. As both partners submit to and respect each other by the grace of God, they will become one in Him. The Christian marriage covenant is really a covenant between a man, a woman, and their Lord.
SUSAN: This is a prescription for a contented marriage. The marriage relationship affects every other facet of the couple’s lives . . .
SUSIE: . . . but it is especially essential to their relationship with the Lord as it should be a reflection of His love for His church. Our homes are an integral part of our witness to a lost and dying world around us. We need to build them on the solid foundation of the word of God.
APPLICATIONS:
- Being the head of the home does not mean being the dictator. The husband should be the facilitator of his wife’s wellbeing. He should nurture, nourish, exhort, and encourage her by being the chief cheerleader, life coach, and her soft place to fall.
- Being the head of the home does not mean being the dictator. The husband should be the facilitator of his wife’s wellbeing. He should nurture, nourish, exhort, and encourage her by being the chief cheerleader, life coach, and her soft place to fall.
- Being the head of the home does not mean being the dictator. The husband should be the facilitator of his wife’s wellbeing. He should nurture, nourish, exhort, and encourage her by being the chief cheerleader, life coach, and her soft place to fall.
ASSIGNMENT: Whether in the marriage relationship, roommates, or even friends, setting aside one’s own desires for those of another is difficult. Spend some time examining your own attitudes. Are there areas where you must have your way no matter what? If so, consider how that impacts relationships in your life. We are never to be doormats for another person whether it is a husband, wife, friend, or coworker. However, we are never to be the one expecting everyone else to bend to our way. Hone in on your submission first to the Lord Jesus. If we are not living in obedience to Him, we cannot expect to have right relationships with others. Spend some time in prayer submitting every aspect of your life to Jesus. Journaling about it gives you something to look back on and remember how the Lord is sanctifying and refining you to be a better reflection of the Son.